Only Joking
by kodoku na oujo
Summary: Side story to Just Not Enough. Itachi always sexually abuses his little brother's best friend, Naruto, but... How did it all start? No real pairings. Hinted one-sided NaruSasu. And I guess this could be viewed as a ItaNaru fic.


**This story, as it is mentioned in the summary, is a side-story to my other fanfic _Just Not Enough_. This is the requested oneshot by the winner of my contest that was mentioned in the same story from which this is based, _Just Not Enough_. The winner really likes Itachi and ItaNaru, so she wanted to see a side-story about Itachi sexually harassing poor Naruto in their earlier days. Back when Itachi was still in high school.**

**When she told me that she wanted me to write this… I WAS ESTATIC!! Ever since chapter three of JNE I had wanted to write more about Itachi flirting with little Naruto, but it has yet to come up in the story as of yet (and I'm not sure it will again as of right now).**

**Well… enjoy. _search in all the wrong places_, I hope that you enjoy this the most!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. My Naruto would not have flashbacks and explanations overpowering the actual plot of the series :stares at Kishimoto-sensei:.**

**Warning: Implied Boy Love. Really, Itachi is just joking with Naruto. But don't get me wrong. Even though it's just a joke to Itachi… if Naruto would response, Itachi would totally do him XD ha. ((It's true!))**

**Important: Dedicated to _search in all the wrong places_. You rule! And you can obviously read my mind, since you answered the contest correctly.**

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The front door opened suddenly and slammed against the wall with a loud thud before it slowly creaked back on its hinges as if it was trying to close itself once again. A pale hand stopped the door from swinging back at the person standing in the doorway. The person standing in front of the door sluggishly dragged their tired body into the house and slammed the door shut after they exited from the doorway and moved more into the small hallway.

Uchiha Itachi, a junior at Thomas Jefferson high school, dragged his school bag along the carpeted floor and walked into the living room, plopping his body and bag down on the worn-in couch that his family had owned for as long as the young raven cared to remember.

He let out a tired sigh and brushed his long raven bangs out of his dark eyes. He had just come home after having one of the longest days of his life and he was absolutely exhausted.

He had thought that his older friends had been merely exaggerating when they had told the pale boy that junior year of high school was the toughest year by far, but after taking a test in his Pre-Calculus class, his Physic class, _and_ his English 3-1 class he would have to agree with his senior friends.

Itachi's mind had been completely overwhelmed today after almost constant test taking and he was even more exhausted for he also had at least three hours of homework that he needed to complete. The raven was just not sure how much more of this he could handle. To top his day off, he had also signed up to take the SAT's next weekend, so he also had to keep in mind that he needed to study for that as well.

Everything was just becoming too much. The pale boy momentarily mused the idea of dropping a grade and becoming a sophomore once again. It would definitely be easier than continuing on with his junior year classes and he could put off all the unneeded stress that came with it. The more the raven thought about the idea, the more he liked it.

Slowly, Itachi's heavy eyelids close over his dark eyes and his vision became black and his mind started to drift off into emptiness. Itachi's exhaustion was finally catching up to the young boy. He had been up nearly all night study for his three separate tests today. He decided that he had at least earned a nice one-hour nap before he needed to tackle his insane amount of homework.

However, any hopes that Itachi had of napping that day were ruined when the front door to his home slammed opened once again and the loud stomps of at least two pairs of feet walked into the house, along with the sound of loud bickering from an unfamiliar voice. The raven-haired boy sat up on the couch and turned his head so that he could look out into the small hallway to catch a glimpse of the new person in his home. The pale boy's eyes lit up with interest when his younger brother walked into the living followed a young boy with bright blonde hair, whom seemed intent on nagging his younger brother about a certain subject.

"But you have to admit that she's pretty." The blonde said as the two boys walked through the entranceway that connected the small hallway and the living room.

"I don't have to agree with that." Uchiha Sasuke, the youngest of the Uchiha siblings replied back in a stoic voice.

"But she's gorgeous! How can you not think that?!"

"Hey there, Sasuke." Itachi said while he briefly let his dark eyes glance over at his little brother, but then immediately let his gaze wander back over to the small blonde boy.

"Itachi." Sasuke nodded his head to his older brother. The tan boy talking to Sasuke stopped when he heard the deeper voice and turned his head so that he could stare at the older boy leaning against the old couch. The raven's dark eyes were fixated on the blonde's brilliant blue ones. For a long silent moment, Itachi did nothing but stare at the young boy.

And it was not long until the blonde became uncomfortable from the teenager's intense stare.

Suddenly, Itachi smirked and rose to his feet slowly and with such grace that men did not normally possess. Once again, Itachi brushed a few stubborn strands of his long raven bangs away from his eyes and let his hand trail down until his long fingers were running through the dark locks that he kept pulled back in a low ponytail. He walked over to the two small boys and continued to stare into the blonde's eyes.

"Sasuke, where are you manners? Introduce me to your little friend here." Itachi gave a smile that made the small blonde shiver.

"This is Uzumaki Naruto." Sasuke said reluctant. The small smirk on the elder Uchiha's face did not go unnoticed by his younger brother, and Sasuke did not like the fact that Itachi was looking at Naruto like that. "He's _my_ friend from school."

"Oh really." Itachi mused in a soft voice. The taller boy bent down some so that his face was closer to Naruto's slightly flushed face. He almost wanted to laugh at how nervous the blonde looked when the raven-haired teenager had moved closer to the two pre-teens. Naruto gulped as quietly, hoping that the older boy would not hear him, but, of course, Itachi did and it only made him smile wider.

"Yes." Sasuke said as he eyed his brother suspiciously.

"Hmm." Itachi moved his head around so that he could look at Naruto from different angles, smiling the entire time. "I approve." The elder Uchiha then stood up straight and walked back over to the old, worn couch and threw his body back onto the piece of furniture. "So… What were you two talking about when you got in here?" Itachi asked, only half interested in what the two young boys were discussing before he was introduced to Naruto.

"We… We were talking about… this girl at school." Naruto said hesitantly to the teenager. The strange looks that the raven was giving him really freaked the blonde-haired boy out and he really wanted to understand why on earth the raven-haired boy would look at him that way. He was used to people giving him angry stares and even false smiles… but never in his life had he seen _anyone_ give him an expression that almost made the raven seem as if he was… _interested_ in him. "Sasuke won't admit that Sakura is beautiful!" Naruto said with more confidence, since the statement was not entirely directed at Itachi.

"Because she's not." Sasuke replied back with an annoyed expression.

"You mean _Haruno_ Sakura?" Itachi asked, recognizing the name of the young girl. "The one you told me was stalking you, Sasuke?"

"Yes, that's her."

"I think she's cute." Itachi said in a monotone voice, as he let his gaze moved across the room, as if he wasn't even really listening to the conversation, including his own statements.

"You don't have her following you around everywhere you go." Sasuke muttered under his breath. Naruto vaguely recognized the emotionless expression that Itachi gave and instantly realized that Sasuke had probably picked up that very trait from his brother.

"That's just so unfair!" Naruto whined to the two raven-haired boys. "Sasuke, you're so lucky that Sakura worships the ground you walk on! I'd be happy just to have her acknowledge me."

Itachi pursed his brows together slightly in his confusion. "You like a girl that doesn't even know you exist?" he asked slowly.

"She—!" Naruto started to say, but then realized that it was Sasuke's creepy older brother that was asking him the question. "Well… Sakura does know I exist, but," The blonde paused. "She…"

"She treats him like he's dirt." Sasuke finished the blonde's statement, since he realized that his friend was incapable of speaking a single coherent statement around his brother. The youngest Uchiha momentary wondered if his brother's presence was really that strong to make someone as loud and obnoxious as Naruto to be stunned into silent. Sasuke unfortunately would never know, since he was so used to being around his brother.

"I can't understand why you would like her then." Itachi said softly, looking as if the conversation did not interest him in the least.

"Oh there are so many reason to like Sakura!" Naruto chirped with delight. "She's smart and pretty and confident in herself and she's kind and… She's just everything." A light blush swept across the blonde's face and Sasuke huffed and turned his face away as the young boy smiled with such joy welling up within his tiny body.

The elder raven noticed how Sasuke seemed to be so annoyed that he was almost sick to his stomach by the blonde's jubilant rant about the young pink-haired girl. He wasn't sure exactly why his younger brother looked so annoyed by Naruto's little speech, whether it be he was actually annoyed with Naruto just constantly talking, because he hated the topic of Sakura in general, or if there was another underlining meaning behind his brother's brooding.

"Come on, Sasuke! Even you have to admit at least admit that she's better looking than most girls in our grade." Naruto tried to force a confession out of the pale boy once more as he nudged his side with his elbow.

"Moron." Sasuke muttered mostly to himself.

"I personally don't see why so many so guys fall for girls like that." Itachi rambled on, not entirely meaning for the younger boys in the room to hear him. "If she really is as perfect as you make her out to be, then she really must be quite a dull person." Naruto glared at the raven-haired teenager. He was not taking very kindly to the older boy, whom he had only met today, talking about his crush in such a way. "But I really can't talk, since I really have no experience to prove that women like that are, in fact, really dull people. I've never cared enough about one of them to actually understand their true personalities."

Naruto bright blue eyes shot open in amazement. His pink lips parted slightly as the shock from the raven's statement set in. The blonde could just simply not believe it. Someone as good-looking as Sasuke older brother never being in a romantic relationship with a girl before? How could someone blessed with, apparently, such beauty and charisma (or that's what Naruto took this boldness that Itachi exuded for) never be able to have someone to love him. "Itachi, why are you even interested in talking about why Naruto should and should not like Sakura?" Sasuke's dark eyes narrowed in suspicion of his older brother.

"Forgive me, little brother, for trying to help you young friend out." Itachi replied. "I couldn't stand to see someone as adorable as Naruto fall for a girl."

"See, Sasuke, at least someone ca—" Naruto stopped himself before he could finish that sentence. His blue orbs widened once he realized what Itachi had actually said, and he slowly turned attention from Sasuke, and let his gaze glance over at the elder Uchiha, whom was sitting back in the couch was a smirk on his handsome face. Naruto gulped loudly. "Wha…. What did you say?"

"I said that someone as adorable as you should not be wasted on a girl." Itachi then leaned forward so that his face was a little closer to Naruto.

"S-S-Sasuke?" Naruto stuttered in a softer voice. "W-What is your brother trying to say?"

The younger raven just glared at the smug looking teenager on the couch. "Itachi." Sasuke gave his brother a venomous stare, which, unfortunately, had no effect on the elder Uchiha considering that Itachi had been forced to suffer through such glares ever since his younger brother had learned how to glare at him. Itachi blamed their father for always scowling at him if the older raven had ever done anything wrong

Itachi reluctantly lifted himself from the couch and started to walk away from the old piece of furniture and toward the two young boys. "Fine. I can take a hint, Sasuke. I'll leave you and little Naruto alone." The taller raven took one step away from the young boys, before he stopped himself and smirked wickedly. Itachi saw that Naruto's attention was no longer focused on him now that he was leaving and saw an opening that he just could not resist.

Suddenly, the raven-haired teenager's pale hand connected with Naruto butt with a loud slam, followed by the high-pitched squeak coming from the young blonde. Before Naruto or Sasuke could turn their attention to Itachi, the older boy had already started walking away, toward the hallway and the stairs that sat beside the small entranceway.

Sasuke could hear the soft, muffled snickered that Itachi was trying so hard to cover up, but he was more focused on the whines of terror that Naruto was producing as he held onto his ass protectively; like somehow Itachi would show up again just to slap his butt once again.

"Don't think too much into my brother's actions, Naruto." Sasuke said trying to hide his anger toward his brother, while still trying to calm the poor tan boy, whom Sasuke was sure would be traumatized for life afterwards. "He's only joking." The young raven placed his hand on the blonde's shoulder, trying to give him a little more reassurance that what he was saying was the truth.

"So… your brother isn't attracted to guys?" Naruto asked slowly, his frightened expression still in place.

The pale raven was silent for a long while, like the small boy was deciding amongst himself whether or not he should actually answer his friend's question. Eventually, Sasuke's dark eyes glanced over at Naruto in the same stoic manner that the blonde always saw in other's expression. "That's… not what he was joking about." He finally answered. "I hope." Sasuke muttered that last part to himself, since he was not a hundred percent sure of all the hidden meanings behind the elder Uchiha's strange actions.

Naruto's tan face grew pale as he listened to the raven-haired boy's reply.

"Oh, Sasuke." Itachi's calm voice was heard as the older boy called down to his little brother from the upper level of the house. "Tell your little blonde friend with the nice ass to come back again."

Since the younger Uchiha's attention had been directed toward the hallway and, more specifically, the stairs that led up to Itachi, he did not realized until it was too late that his blonde friend had fallen onto the carpeted floor and knocked unconscious. Sasuke merely let his dark eyes wander over to the blonde's body on the ground and he let out a sigh. Sasuke momentarily thought that this was the very same reason as to why he never had any friends.

It was because Itachi molested all of them.

"I think I need to get uglier friends." Sasuke mused to himself, while poor Naruto still lay on the floor with scarring memories and images wandering idly through his fragile, little mind.

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**I personally love the last line Sasuke says in this. I kind of stole it from that T-mobile commercial with the "My Five" and the littler brother puts his sister's hawt friends in his "five." I wish my dad said funny things like that XP hee.**

**Anyway… I know you probably wanted a little more Naruto-raping,_ search in all the wrong places,_ but I really couldn't see Itachi being able to get away with almost molesting the poor blonde without Sasuke banning his older brother from ever seeing Naruto again. And you want Itachi to stick around to sexual ((and mentally)) abuse little Naruto, don't ya?**

**Well… enjoy anyway.**


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